The First Tidbit:
If you’re from the UK and you’re looking to stock up on werewolf books for your summer reading, I advise you to hustle hustle quickly now to Hic Dragones, where they are giving FREE UK shipping for all of their books, including my novel ‘The Tattooed Wolf‘. A reader once referred to ‘The Tattooed Wolf’ as (and I quote) “a fantastic gateway novel for people who are positively sure they don’t like werewolf-vampire-zombie books, but then discover to their surprise that they do”. I’m assuming that’s a good thing? I don’t know. But someone else said it was ‘perfect summer reading’, so that’s a little clearer.
The Second Tidbit:
I’ve decided to learn German, which is going really well, if all I need to do is tell people that I’m eating bread and that man is drinking water. I know I shouldn’t be so impatient, but I wish language programs would use phrases that have a bit more substance. I mean, if I need to tell the taxi driver to race to the hospital as fast as possible, or explain to a doctor that my abdomen is experiencing stabbing pains, I’m right out of luck. But at least I’ll be able to assure the confused bystanders as I perish on the sidewalk in agony that the boys are all children and this is my favourite hat.
The Third Tidbit:
Remember how I reviewed one of Kienna Coffee’s blends a few weeks ago? Well, I picked up a box of their Highland Grogg blend because honestly, it was pink and covered in Scottish icons, and Oh! My! This coffee tastes like the torrid love affair between a blue-painted Pictish warrior and a drunken pirate captain, their sweaty bodies slammed up against the wall in the alley beside a pub at the docks. I mean, it’s really good! But STRONG! It fears nothing!
Kienna Coffee comes in these little tea-bag-ish pods, but I’ve been ripping them open and pouring the contents directly into my French Press, and it makes a cup of delicious joe that’s so fierce, you can bloody well feel the hair bursting out of your chest follicles. I’ve actually started cutting the coffee grounds with Kicking Horse coffee because it lends a little respite from the punch to the jaw that straight-up Highland Grogg delivers.
I’m sorry, I really suck at this reviewing gig. I don’t think you’re supposed to review your own blends of coffees, but I am. Two parts Highland Grogg to one part Kicking Horse creates a smooth, delicious, rum-soaked beverage that is both soothing and invigorating. Four beans for this one, my friends, four sweet sweet beans. I can only imagine how transcendent a cup of 100% Grogg with a splash of real rum would be.
To the good folks at Kienna, I say, “‘s math a rinn thu!”*
The Last Tidbit:
Whenever I visited a Mountain Equipment Co-Op, I used to feel uncomfortable. I felt like the athletic climbers and lanky cyclists were judging my pudgy butt, and I was unworthy of shopping in such an ACTIVE store. Like their eyes were saying, “Get thee back to thy couch, you tub of slug lard!”** But last weekend, I suddenly found my sport… I’ve found my tribe. Break out the water-proof bags and neoprene gloves and aerodynamically shaped paddles, my friends, for I am a kayaker! I love exploring the ocean and rivers, and I can’t wait for summer to arrive. I live on a island pockmarked with lakes, and I plan to paddle every single last one of them.
On that note, I’m leaving you with an image of last night’s adventure. Einfach wunderbar!
*Which, I hope, is actually Scots Gaelic for ‘well done!’ and not just a finger spasm on the keyboard.
**Not that anyone has ever said this to me, they’ve been nothing but pleasant to me. ACTIVELY pleasant. ATHLETICALLY pleasant.